The Henri Bendel Store (Fifth Ave. & 56th, NYC)

If you're like me, the bowels and the bladder are always on your mind, especially when away from your own comfy bowl. "Should I pee first?", "Can I make it home w/o that pit stop?", "Ohhhh, I got to go NOW!" If these thoughts sound familiar, welcome to my world. Most of us might have our favorite stalls, where we know we can count on a clean and comfortable experience. I would like to offer up, perhaps, something new. Some options. Some luxury.

In an occasional feature, exclusively on GWF, I'll let you in on all my secrets. Well, at least some of my secrets.

Let's go.

I'm indebted to my lovely wife for our first installment. Being a lady of finer taste, she has high standards when it comes to freshening up in public. Last Friday, after an early leave from my midtown office, we found ourselves strolling Fifth Avenue before a later rendezvous at the MOMA to take in a minor retrospective celebrating 50 years of the typeface Helvetica. One of my favorite fonts.

As usual we ended up in the fancy-dancy Henri Bendel store at Fifth Ave. and 56th St. And as usual I was itching to leave after two minutes. But first, I had to go. Number one. El pointed to her left at a pretty staircase with a small tasteful sign that read "restrooms". I took it, not really expecting much, but happy for the convenience. The marble staircase turned and opened into a wide foyer. A sign across the landing, read "Powder Rooms". I went for it. The wide hallway entrance opened on a subdued corridor with 5 doors, each ajar with a welcoming honey-brown glow spilling out. I was ecstatic. The hushed and homey concubine caused my bowels to rumble. I ducked in, closed, bolted the heavy brass slide, and...

Feeling well taken care of in a place not your own, is special. I soaked up every second of my five minute stay. Sparkling cleanliness, luxurious paper, some sort of Egyptian tiles and sink, a mirror which insisted I look good from every angle, and soap. Soap is important to me. Not only that's it's there of course, but that it jibes with the whole experience. Some insist on anti-bacterial. I'm against them, but they take no chances with perceptions here. Nothing less than Bath and Body Works Grapefruit-Melon anti-bacterial. I would like to see some more forward thinking in this department, but I won't quibble. Overall, a truly transcendent experience from top to bottom.

Sliding the heavy bolt to exit, I re-entered the hushed corridor. Sitting on the plush divan a few doors down, was a middle-aged lady who, after looking up with alarm and confusion, informed me that the men’s room was across the hall where it said "Men's Room". In my original daze, the sign was invisible. Surely an honest mistake. But, I had been entranced by the Ladies room. I smiled easy and told her how lucky she was to have rights to such a pleasure palace. Behind her confused look, the hint of a knowing smile peeked through.

In the interest of my male readers I had to check out the men’s room. I was not disappointed. Clean, of course. It lacks the hushed flair and secret nature of the Powder Rooms, but no comfort is spared. A pair of Ultra-modern urinals, tastefully separated, stand next to the same gorgeous Egyptian themed sinks of the ladies room. A single deucer is walled off by fine marble and a heavy wooden door. I was surprised there was only one deucer. This is a pet peeve of mine. How can you relax and let it happen, if someone is knocking at the door with his own emergency? Let’s not quibble here though. Overall I couldn’t really ask for anything more, and am grateful for the experience.

I’m thinking of the old adage, ‘Ignorance is bliss’, for it applies here for sure. The powder room was maybe the third or fourth women’s restroom I’ve entered in my life...and I’ll never forget it.

Ladies... enjoy.

A great pre or post WC experience is the Chocolate Bar Cafe located on the 3rd Floor of the store. Delicious coffee, cookies and chocolates. I recommend the Americano.

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